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Transcript:Like a Rock!
PANTING Omi: YELLINGGRUNGING Kimiko: Nice, Omi! Eight seconds faster than Raimundo. Raimundo: Yeah, you’re one slippery little dude. Omi: I foolishly and shamefully lost a quarter-second on the sandbags. As you might say, I smell bad. Raimundo: I stink, not I smell bad. Omi: I stink? Raimundo: Yeah, and you smell bad too. SNICKERS Kimiko: All right, Clay, you’re the last one up. Clay: So all I got to do is be the fastest to get to that doggie? Omi: Correct. Clay: All right. BREATH Raimundo: Your record’s safe. Clay’s element is earth; speed of a rock. Kimiko: Ready, set, go! Clay: Here you go. Think I shaved a few seconds off your record, Omi. LAUGH Omi: But- But you are supposed to go run and jump and kick! Clay: I didn’t much see the point of all that whoopin’ and hollerin’ so long as I got the dog. Raimundo: Or, you knew you couldn’t beat us with your old man kung fu. Omi: LAUGHING Raimundo mocks Clay’s Tai Chi by calling it “old man kung fu!” He implies that Clay is like an old man doing kung fu! HARDER Kimiko: Omi, ix-nay on the easing-tay. Master Fung: Is there something funny about old men and their kung fu, young monk? Omi: GASPS Master Fung. Master Fung: You do recall, Omi, that the oldest oak in the grove is by far the strongest, yes? Omi: Yes, master. Um…Clay cheated! Master Fung: Oh? There is more to being a Xiaolin Dragon than running and jumping, young monk. Omi: Oh yes, Master! There is kicking too! Master Fung: True, but being a Xiaolin Dragon also means seeing the world in a different way. For example, finding simple solutions to complicated problems. Well done, Clay. Clay: Thank you, sir. Dojo: Look alive, people. We’ve got a hot Shen Gong Wu. Master Fung: The Fist of Tebigong. A most powerful Shen Gong Wu, indeed. Raimundo: Ooh, it packs a punch. Literally. [ ] CHIMES RUMBLING Master Fung: Quickly, young ones. Choose your own Shen Gong Wu for battle. Raimundo: Dibs on the Eye of Dashi! Omi: No! You cannot have it! Raimundo, you do not know what it will do. Raimundo: Sure I do, it’s supposed to shoot lightning or something. Besides, I called it. Omi: But I won it in the Showdown. I should be the first to use it. Master Fung: Fighting over a Shen Gong Wu? Are you two trying to start a Xiaolin Showdown? Omi: Master Fung, please decide which of us should take the Eye of Dashi. Master Fung: Hmm. It should go to the winner of the obstacle course challenge. Omi: Yes! In your head, Raimundo! Raimundo: In your face. Omi: Talk to my fingers! Master Fung: I didn’t mean you, Omi. Clay was the fastest. Omi: What?! But he- Master Fung: Use it well. Clay: Much obliged, Master Fung, sir. Master Fung: The Mantis Flip Coin and Two-Ton Tunic. Raimundo: Yeah, yeah, all right. Kimiko: Thank you, Master Fung. Omi: I get no Shen Gong Wu? Master Fung: We have but three, Omi. If you want one, I suggest you retrieve the Fist of Tebigong. Dojo: You heard the man. C’mon, shake your tails, we got a Shen Gong Wu to find. [ ] Jack: Yeah, I like it. This Third Arm Sash is tight. Wuya: Insolent boy! You are misusing the power of a Shen Gong Wu! Jack: Oh, come on, what’s the point of taking over the world if you can’t have a little fun? Look at me. I can juggle. Wuya: You are wasting time! The Fist of Teibigong awaits! It must be mine! Jack: Ah, ah ah, we’re partners, remember? So that Shen Gong Wu is ours. SIPS Unless you can suddenly pick things up with those see-through hands. Wuya: GROWLS Jack: CHUCKLES Yeah, that’s what I thought. Power down, we’ll get your fist thing as soon as I’m done. You got a problem? Hey, go walk against wind somewhere else. [ ] Jack: First order of business when I rule the world: vaporize all mimes. [ ] OF LASSO Jack: Huh? Wait a minute, what’s goin’ on here? BEEPING Okay clown you’re toast! Wuya: Wait! This mime has magical abilities. RATTLING Jack: GRUNTS Wuya: Yes, I believe he may be of use to us. Or do you require another demonstration? Jack: No, I’m good. Wuya: CHUCKLES [ ] RUSHING Dojo: The Fist of Teibigong must be close, ‘cause I’m getting a wicked case of Shen Gong Wu rash. SCRATCHING Kimiko: Could you be more specific? Dojo: Yeah, it kinda itches here, but it’s more burny down here, behind my tail I’ve got this unsightly cracking. I mean it it’s oof. Kimiko: I meant with the location of the Shen Gong Wu. Can you tell us exactly where it is? Raimundo: Yeah, instead of making us look behind every- GASPS Jack Spicer! Jack Spicer: Surprise, surprise. Robo-minions. CLANG SWIRLING Omi: Water! AND YELLS Raimundo: Wind! Hey robot, forget something? Kimiko: Fire! YELLS Dojo: Woah, woah, woah. Hey, watch out! Uh, Clay, big fight here. Wanna get in the game? Clay: Just takin’ my cleansin’ breath. Now I’m ready. GRUNTSYELLS Dojo: YELLS Kimiko: Two-Ton Tunic! Are you all right? Clay: Don’t worry about us none. Just get that Shen Gong Wu. Raimundo: Mantis Flip Coin. YELLS Bet you wish you had this Shen Gong Wu. Omi: Yes. But you need it more than me. Jack: SCREAMS Omi: The battle is over, Spicer! You lost. Jack: Whatever shall we do? Wuya: Perhaps they should meet our new friend, Le Mime. Kimiko: GIGGLES You brought a mime? Raimundo: What’re you gonna do? Annoy us to death? Kimiko: Look at him, he’s pretending to put us inside a box. LAUGHS So lame. Oh no, we are trapped. We can not get out. Omi: Very silly. I- GRUNTS Hey. Raimundo: Ow. There is a wall here. Kimiko: Uh, guys, we really are trapped. GRUNTING Jack: You kids have fun. We’re off to get the Fist of Tebigong. [ ] GRUMBLING Clay: Hey, what’re y’all doin’ here? Shouldn’t you be roundin’ up that Fist of Teibigong? What’s that? I can’t hear you. Dojo: Oh! They’re playin’ charades. Clay: Odd time for fancy pants parlor games, but you guys know best. [ ] Clay: Let’s see…I reckon that’s- Dojo: Fabric softener! An igloo! Tooth decay! Danish ham! It’s sun-cured ham! Clay: Nope, that’s a monkey if I ever seen one. Maybe a lemur. Raimundo: GROWLING Omi: He cannot hear us. Kimiko: He thinks we’re playing charades. Raimundo: Fine, I gotta charade for him. Clay: You. Dojo: Raimundo. Good Start. Heine, tukus, gluteus maximus. Clay: Butt. Dojo: Right. Kick. Clay: Kick. Dojo: You. Clay: Me. Raimundo’s gonna kick my- hey! Dojo: Ooh. Five yards for unnecessary roughness. Clay: Mister, you done made me mad. I’m gonna- ooh. H-hey. What? Raimundo: I-t’s So-me So-rt of in-vi-si-ble box. Hey. Took him long enough. Kimiko: Move. BEEPING Clay: Trapped by mime magic. Stop jack, get Shen Gong Wu! Dojo: Magic mime? They’ve always been obnoxious, but now they’re dangerous too? Hey! Woah! Omi: Our fates rest in Clay’s hands. Kimiko: So what you’re saying is: we’re doomed. Raimundo: Been nice knowin’ you guys. Omi: Kimiko, Raimundo, we must have faith in our comrade, Clay. Raimundo: Old man kung fu to the rescue? Pfft, not in this life. Kimiko: Face it, Omi. If Clay’s our last hope, we’re hopeless. Raimundo: Good-bye Fist of Tebigong. Kimiko: Hello 10,000 years of darkness. Omi: You may have a point. YELLS [ ] Dojo: Warmer. You’re getting warmer. Yeah, that Fist of Teibigong is so near, I can practically- Brakes! Clay: Don’t want no trouble, Mime. Dojo: One of you guys gonna do something? Clay: Seems like the fella don’ mean any harm. Dojo: Beat it, Frenchie! Clay: He’s doin’ everything I do. Dojo: The mirror gag. Man, I hate mimes. [ ] Dojo: Cute, but we do have a Shen Gong Wu to find. Clay: I reckon’ I got an idea. GONG Dojo: Woah. Way to take one for the team. Raimundo: YELLING Kimiko: Give it a rest, Raimundo. Raimundo: No, there has got to be some way out of here. YELLS Okay. Those walls are solid. Kimiko: Let me try. YELLS Raimundo: GROANS Kimiko: You’re right. Those walls are solid. Omi: Silence, please. SWISHING Raimundo: Why? Omi: Oh, come on, I just said “silence.” I even said “please.” Raimundo: Sorry. Kimiko: Just want to know what you’re doing, Omi. Omi: I am building my chi so that I can perform the ancient and fearsome Tsunami Strike. It’ll be cold dud. Kimiko: Cool, dude. Omi: I stand corrected. Now, silence, please. [ ] YELLING SWISHING Omi: You are right. Those walls are very solid. RUMBLING Wuya: I sense the Fist of Tebigong. It’s close. Jack: We’ll find it. My robots will turn this mountain to rubble if they have to. DRILLING Jack: See, mountain of rubble. Wuya: Find me the Fist of Teibigong or I’ll- Jack: What? Replace me? Wuya: Hmm, there’s a thought. Jack: Not likely. Dojo: Wuya’s right. That fist is close. Clay: C’mon. Move real quiet-like. Dojo: Don’t insult me. I’m all about stealth. And I’m very- YELLS Hey. The Fist of Teibigong. Check me out with the moves. Jack: Yeah, check you out. Dojo: Uh-oh. Security! Jack: GRUNTS Dojo: I knew I could count on that gut. SCREAMS Clay: Giddyup, Dojo! Dojo: PANTING Jack: SCREAMS Wuya: Need I say it? Stop them! Jack: Third-Arm Sash! Too slow, cowboy. Too slow. DRILLING [ ] Omi: There must be some way out of this box. Kimiko: If there is, I’m not seeing it. Then again, I’m not seeing the box. Raimundo: Well, I’m not too proud to beg. Hey, hilarious mister mime guy! Let us out! We think mimes are charming and funny! Not at all stupid! Let. Us. Out! CLINKING Omi: Raimundo! Stop! Kimiko: Yeah, splitting headache developing here. Omi: Listen. CLINKING Omi: What is that? Raimundo: The bars, duh. Kimiko: This box has bars? I thought the walls were solid. Raimundo: Well, they are, but there are bars too, I guess. Kimiko: Or are there bars because you imagined them? Raimundo: Don’t play mind games, girl. Omi: So, if I imagine a door, will it be here too? CLICK Omi: Yes! Simple solutions to complicated problems. Kimiko: Oh, check you out with the big brain. Omi: My first girl-hug. May I have another? Kimiko: Easy, Omi, one per customer. Raimundo: Well, this is nice, eh? The three of us friends having a few laughs together. But where’s our fourth friend, Mr. Clay? Oh, that’s right. He’s losing the Fist of Tebigong to Jack Spicer! Did you guys forget that?! STEAMING [ ] Wuya: What are you waiting for? Vaporize him! Jack: Wuya, Wuya, Wuya, How long have you been at this villain game? Wuya: I wreaked havoc and destruction while the earth was still young and mankind was just crawling out of the mud. Jack: And yet you still make amateur mistakes. Everyone knows, gloating first, then vaporizing. You’ve come far, Clay, but you didn’t count on the magnificently evil mind of Jack Spicer! CACKLES See? Good gloat. Great laugh. Wuya: You talk too much. Clay: Ghost lady’s got a point. Eye of Dashi. Jack: SCREAMS It’s glowing! Clay: It looks like we’re headed for a Xiaolin Showdown you dirty snake. Omi: This way. Hurry. Dojo: Hey guys, you’re just in time. Jack: Clay, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown. Clay: Name your game, Jack. CHIRPING Jack: That robin. First one to catch it wins. Omi: Oh, catch a robin? Clay: Okay, Jack, I accept your challenge. MOANING Jack: Sucker! Let’s go. Jack and Clay: Xiaolin Showdown! THRASHING RUMBLING Kimiko, Raimundo, and Omi: Woah! Kimiko: Still not used to that. Jack: Ready, cowboy? Clay: Ready as I’ll ever be. Both: Gong yi tan pai! Jack: LAUGHS CHIRPING Jack: Third-Arm Sash! Kimiko: Jack’s on fire. Omi: Yes, but Clay has yet to become inflamed. Clay: DEEPLY Raimundo: Well, he’s breathing. I’m guessing he’s alive. Omi: Does he not know the showdown has started? Dojo: Don’t you worry your pretty little heads, my man Clay is…still doing nothing! Hey! Get your butt in there! Move! Omi: Look out! Jack: LAUGHS CHIRPING Omi: Seize the bird, Clay! Kimiko: Do something! Raimundo: At least shoot some lightning! I just wanna see it once! SWISHING CHIRPING Kimiko: What’s he doing? Raimundo: If I had to guess: flower arrangement. Omi: This does not inspire confidence. Dojo: Just tell me when it’s over. Jack: SCREAMS CHIRPING Clay: Hey there little fella. Enjoy the grub. Kimiko: He did it! Raimundo: Excelente. Clay: Oh, thanks y’all. Omi: Clay has me tripping on very cold stones! Raimundo: No, no, no. Clay’s got you stone cold trip- ah forget it. Jack: MOANING Wuya: Pathetic boy. Jack: Can I get a rematch? Or a do-over? Something’s clearly wrong here. WHIMPERS Omi: Eye of Dashi, the Fist of Teibigong, and the Third-Arm Sash. Raimundo: Way to clean up, Clay. Clay: I made out okay, I figure. [ ] Kimiko: Aw, look at clay. Beaming like the big hero. Clay: Aw, now, you’re gonna make me blush. Raimundo: So, Clay, can I give the Eye of Dashi a try? Clay: Sure thing Ry. Omi: What?! I should try it before you! I found it! Raimundo: You snooze, you lose. Omi: then perhaps I’ll try out the Fist of Teibigong on your head! Kimiko: Guys, knock it off, or I’ll Third-Arm Sash your mouth off. Clay: Besides, I’d like to think we all learned a little somethin’ today. Kimiko: Never lose faith in a friend? Omi: The value of simple solutions? Raimundo: Omi can’t use slang? Clay: Nope. We learned everybody hates mime. LAUGH Category:Transcripts